5 best Jim Gaffigan jokes
Jim Gaffigan/YouTube

Jim Gaffigan is on the road again this year, making audiences laugh with his 2018 Fixer Upper Tour. Gaffigan is performing live throughout the year, giving fans more than two dozen opportunities to catch one of comedy's funniest stand-up performers. Here are Jim Gaffigan's five best jokes to give you an idea of what you can expect before you get your tickets to his upcoming shows live through his artist page at AXS.

1) "Mexican Restaurant"

This joke goes all the way back to 1996, which means it's more than 20 years old - and it's still one of the funniest bits of comedy that fans will ever come across. Gaffigan describes how he once worked as a waiter in a Mexican restaurant, and was baffled by people who would ask for descriptions of the various items, since all Mexican food is roughly the same. He sells the joke with his performance, but what makes it a classic is the fact that he's right. Gaffigan is both hilarious and insightful, and that's one of the things that sets him apart from other comedians.

2) "Hot Pockets"

This is Jim Gaffigan's best known bit, and for good reason. He absolutely skewers Hot Pockets, and he does it more than once. It's a delightfully scathing indictment of a terrible food. What makes it even better is the way he delivers it, particularly when he's pretending to be a stuffy waiter trying to make Hot Pockets sound like fine dining. This is more like several jokers wrapped up into one spiel, and they all land perfectly. It's safe to say that Gaffigan, who once played KFC's Colonel Sanders, will not be in a Hot Pockets commercial any time soon.

3) "Jesus"

From Gaffigan's Beyond The Pale album, "Jesus" goes completely out on a limb. Religious humor can instantly make people uncomfortable, and Gaffigan starts this bit off by pointing that out before he proceeds to have far too much fun with all kinds of religious concepts, whether it's the length of Catholic mass or how he sometimes calls his wife and pretends to be the Devil. He even squeezes a Hot Pockets reference in. It takes real talent to take a delicate subject like religion and make it funny, and he does that easily; in fact he makes the audience comfortable with laughing at its quirks.

4) "Fruits & Vegetables"

Speaking of food, Gaffigan raised several giggle-worthy good points about fruit in this joke from his Obsessed album. The best part comes at the 2:40 mark, when he declares that the reason so many paintings are depictions of fruit is because nobody bothers to eat the fruit. Whereas, he says, if someone was trying to paint a donut it wouldn't last more than a few minutes. When you stop and think about it, you realize that he's probably right about that, just like he was right about the Mexican food. Come to think of it, he knows a lot about food.

5) "Waffle House"

Jim Gaffigan's "Waffle House" is his version of "Alice's Restaurant." In this track from King Baby, Gaffigan points out how many strange things happen at a Waffle House and how it's not exactly top-notch dining. The way he describes it, comedy fans can easily imagine the scene and the cast of characters. If Gaffigan ever decides to do another TV show, he could write an entire sitcom based on this bit, where he talks about all kinds of odd people and all the slightly creepy things that can be found inside the doors of a Waffle House. He makes you want to know more and never want to go there simultaneously.

Don't miss the reasons why you should get your tickets to Jim Gaffigan's 2018 tour. Below are Jim Gaffigan's upcoming tour dates, with tickets for select shows on sale now at AXS:

Feb. 08 - Charleston, WV - Municipal Auditorium
Feb. 09 - Thackerville, OK - Winstar Casino
Feb. 10 - Tulsa, OK - River Spirit Casino
Feb. 11 - Pensacola, FL - Pensacola Bay Center
Feb. 17 - Beaver Creek, CO - Vilar Performing Arts Center
Feb. 18 - Beaver Creek, CO - Vilar Performing Arts Center
Feb. 23 - Louisville, KY - Louisville Palace (early and late shows)
Feb. 24 - Evansville, IN - Old National Events Plaza
Feb. 25 - Huntsville, AL - Von Braun Center
March 03 - Oxon Hill, MD - MGM National Harbor (early and late shows)
April 20 - Houston, TX - Smart Financial Center at Sugarland
April 21 - San Antonio, TX - Majestic Theatre
April 27 - Green Bay, WI - Resch Center
April 28 - Fargo, ND - Fargodome
April 29 - Duluth, MN - Amsoil Arena
May 04 - Syracuse, NY - Landmark Theatre
May 05 - Manchester, NH - SNHU Arena
May 06 - Bangor, ME - Cross Insurance Center
May 25 - Santa Barbara, CA - Santa Barbara Bowl (Click here for tickets)
May 26 - Albuquerque, NM - Route 66 Casino
May 27 - Las Vegas, NV - The Colosseum at Caesars Palace (Click here for tickets)
June 01 - Biloxi, MS - Beau Rivage Resort & Casino (early and late shows)
June 02 - Rogers, PA - Walmart Ampitheatre
June 09 - Pocatello, ID - Portneuf Health Trust Ampitheatre
June 10 - Loveland, CO - Budweiser Events Center (Click here for tickets)
June 29 - Dublin, Ireland - Vicar Street
July 04 - Antwerp, Germany - Stadsschouwburg Antwerp
July 05 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - RAI Theatre
July 13 - London, England - Leicester Square Theatre
July 20 - Las Vegas, NV - The Colosseum at Caesars Palace (Click here for tickets)
Sept. 02 - Palmer, AK - Alaska State Fair (early and late shows)
Sept. 22 - Milwaukee, WI - Wisconsin Entertainment and Sports Center

For more on Jim Gaffigan, visit his artist page at AXS.