The Darkness are not ones for modesty, musically or lyrically. Their bombastic glam rock is descended from fellow British icons like Queen and Thin Lizzy and the group's cheeky, over-the-top lyrics help the whole enterprise feel like a party invitation you can't possibly refuse.
To put it another way, The Darkness is a very fun and self-aware band and their new album Pinewood Smile is an excellent addition to their discography. With songs about pirates, pretty girls, pretty girls from Japan, a pretty girl named Barbara and, of course, plenty of winking references as to why they're so awesome (a pet theme of the band's songs), Pinewood Smile keeps the humor and energy cranked to 11.
In honor of the new album, which you can stream in full below, we're spotlighting five of the record's most outrageous lyrics (no small task). The Darkness will be coming to the States next year for the North American leg of their Tour De Prance in support of the new album. Click here to get tickets to select shows on AXS.com.
"I'm pinching myself, you're nothing like the girls I usually get/ Everyone assumes I bought you off the internet" - "All The Pretty Girls"
The first single off of Pinewood Smile, "All The Pretty Girls" is a perfect reintroduction to the band. With its chugging bass, muscular guitar riff and Justin Hawkins' falsetto soaring toward the heavens, the song sounds like a quintessential Darkness jam even before you get to the verse. But with its alternately self-deprecating and self-aggrandizing lyrics, the song will leave you (and your mum) in stitches.
"We're never gonna stop sh*tting out solid gold" - "Solid Gold"
The next single from the album is another bit of mythmaking from a band that's never been shy about tongue-in-cheek self-promotion. The riff is pure AC/DC (a fact that's tacitly acknowledged with Dan Hawkins' school boy outfit in the video) and the song's hook positions the band as the Golden Goose of glam rock. The thing is, they're not really lying.
"F*ck you Southern Trains, we're not getting anywhere" - "Southern Trains"
The band's most recent single is a tirade against England's public transit system. While the "Southern Trains" target might seem a little specific, at least for us Yanks, the sentiment captured in the song is something that transit users across globe can relate to: Let's get this f*cking train moving already, we've got places to be!
"Tie you like that wanted rogue, till your eye pops out of its socket/ Hang you upside-down/ And take whatever comes out of your pocket" - "Buccaneers of Hispaniola"
This track is a funny bit of role playing from the band, which casts them as some of the nastiest pirates on the high seas. Loaded with more pirate references than Davy Jones' locker, the song also imagines Hawkins stealing another man's woman as part of their booty. Pretty easy to imagine what song her boyfriend heard in his mind when it happened.
"The sun was setting in the west/ I was in my speedos, you were fully dressed" - "Happiness"
What does happiness look like to The Darkness? Laying around on the beach in speedos making love to women on the rocks. While that answer probably isn't surprising, this power ballad confirms it at last.